Headaches

I suffer from migraines. I have since I was about sixteen. So seeing as I'm well into over twenty years with them, I consider myself an expert on the subject. I've read everything I can get my hands on about them, I know all about the latest pharmaceutical inventions in order to seek relief, I have a personal list of how and sometimes why I get them, and how to deal with them when they attack. And yet with all my knowledge about them, and even what produces migraines in my own head, I still suffer their agony.

Sometimes, the pain is on one side of my head, sometimes it's the other. It can be in the front or in the back of my head. And that is where the differences end. My migraines are always an unrelenting throbbing pain, I literally can hear the pounding inside my head echoing through my ears. And while I wait to see if my medication will do me the favor of easing my pain, I assume gymnastic positions in order to put pressure on the offending part of my head. I'm in the dark, because the most miniscule drop of light on my eyes is nothing short of blade-like steel being pushed through my brain. My eyes are closed, I pull a blanket over my head, bury my face in the pillow, and yet I still see light -- damn that knife!

The medications are at once wonderful and frightening. I remember when I could take one Vicodin and blissfully sleep for twelve hours on just the smell of the drug alone; now, I take two Vicodin and stay awake long enough to feel the headache burner get turned down from scorch to simmer before I sleep for a couple of hours. I've been through a handful of drugs to help in easing my pain, some didn't work for me at all, some worked great until my body refused to allow them to do their job. My body, rejecting what could save it from the headache inferno, deciding instead to suffer the pain until something better comes along. At times, I am powerless, and I must seek the attention of someone with more power than I have, someone who can give me what I need and quickly. The doctors string me out often enough, having me answer their stupid questions (can't they see I am an expert in the suffering of migraine headaches?) before giving me the relief I seek. Their medicines are much better now, I feel the immediate effects of tranquility and know that when I wake later there will be no drug hangover for three days.

Why do I write about my migraines? Because I had one yesterday, a small headache that ibuprofen had no effect on, which through the course of the day started developing into something that could have undermined my plans for the weekend. I was at the point of the second to last step, when thankfully my medicine decided I had had enough for today and slowly eased its way back to wherever it is it comes from. And I think about my migraines and wonder why. Why did yesterday's migraine retreat after just a minor skirmish? Why didn't it stay and fight, like it has so many other times, and win? Did my body have something in it yesterday it didn't have before, something that turned it into a killing machine against the headache ravage? If so, can I figure out what it was and bottle it, to save for the next attack?

What possible use could there be for having a migraine headache?